Irena-Marie Makowska
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Feel the fear and do it anyway... TEDx

7/5/2018

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​Last Saturday as I was standing waiting to go on stage and do my TEDx talk I thought: "I cannot do this, I need to leave right now…" Panic was rising and it was an awful feeling. I've only ever had one panic attack that I can remember and that was when chased by a mommy rhino in South Africa (but that's another story).
 
I knew my speech inside out, we'd had two formal rehearsals that week but still this crushing fear took over.  This was different in that I couldn’t do the fight, flight or freeze - our normal responses when we feel unsafe. I had to consciously work my way through it. I've presented to CEOs and board members, run group workshops and stood up and given a speech, a month or so ago, to 150 student at ENAC (National School of Civil Aviation) - and never a problem.  Why now was I having this reaction?

The backstage assistants, both a decade or two younger than myself, encouraged me to ‘breathe’ – a technique I use with my clients! I have to say they were both marvellous.
 
Then it was my turn to go on stage – stand on the small circular red carpet, face the audience, the lights beaming down, be filmed - and the scary part - remember my speech. I could feel my left leg shaking so I did the ‘warrior stance’ to steady myself. I could hear my voice quivering however I did it, well most of it. I am proud that I faced my fear. 
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Photo: Hannah Havis (my coach) and fellow speaker David Mimoun  on "Why should we go to Mars".

I am not a ROBOT… by Irena-Marie Makowska

"I grew up in South Africa – it was the place where I learnt to be connected – being in the wilderness, the vast expanse, surrounded by mountains, ravines and wildlife... I felt so alive.

It was a place where I also learnt about people – hope and despair, compassion and loss, vulnerability and prejudice. Most of all I understood what it felt to be really present in the moment. I learnt about me. 
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​I see our world now as so disconnected – from ourselves, our environment and each other. And here we are at the forefront of a technological revolution – robotics and artificial intelligence (AI). What does this mean to us, our work, our future?  We’ve created a machine with partial intelligence that way surpasses our human academic intelligence; it sees more efficiently, it hears more efficiently and it makes decisions more efficiently. 
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AI is taking over our minds, not just our jobs. It’s addictive – and I do not use the term lightly as it really does interfere with our neural pathways in the brain – it creates psychological cravings and physical side-effects.
 
What will we do when robots have taken our jobs? Because it’s inevitable on a pretty large scale. Work gives our life meaning. Work is our key drivers of well-being, social status, relationships, identity, financial security, daily structure and goals… I know for myself, my work is a fundamental part of who I am.  
Deloitte University, a renown leadership centre in the US,  carried out a survey with 800 top business executives. 67% believed that technology will drive greater value than human capital – I get that - however 64% believed people are a cost NOT a driver of value.  Now can you imagine going to work and interacting with robots and artificial intelligence? How your body language would change over time. Who will you moan to about the boss, or laugh with and share human moments?
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​Microsoft’s Future Proof Yourself report suggests: “65% of today’s school students will be doing jobs that don’t exist yet.” So as teachers, parents, coaches how are we encouraging them to differentiate – to discover who they really are – their core values? To feel self confident, to develop empathy, to use their intuition, be compassionate – that imagination is more valuable than knowledge?
 
We are not ROBOTS – we breathe, we feel, we dream. The more we humanise robots – the more we dehumanise society and ourselves.
 
We need to go back to basics of what it means to be human and from there we can discover our full potential, what makes us thrive. If we do not understand our passions, our weaknesses, we will not be able to maintain our mental, emotional and physical well-being because we won’t know who we are. 

Now more than ever we need these skills in life, in schools, in businesses. Things like creativity, imagination, knowing our strengths and weaknesses, emotional intelligence – how we connect and emphasise with one another, how we interact, our goals and values, resilience, self knowledge and self acceptance… who we are.
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Recently I was involved as a coach at an engineering school here in Toulouse – it was a project on Leadership and Self Awareness. The students were in their early 20’s. At the beginning of the programme they really couldn’t see the value of knowing about themselves and thought ‘we're engineers why do we need to know about self awareness, it's all a bit fluffy!’ ​Over the weeks they realised that to be a leader - whether its of yourself or a group - you need to know the inner you, be able to identify with others, be compassionate, how to communicate and motivate others...
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When I think about my qualities I believe resilience is my strongest quality – I’ve picked myself up and dusted myself down – a term my Mom used – so many times I know that one way or another I’ll be ok. For example when I returned to South Africa in 2001, I was involved in a hijacking/carjacking – I was physically hurt, extremely frightened and an emotional mess. I went back to the UK to be with my parents, abandoning my business. I cried a lot and slowly with the empathy of my fellow being, I then picked myself up and dusted myself down and started all over again.
 
My imagination and intuition keeps me focused and client centred, skills I need for my work. It’s me acknowledging who I am – all the good bits and the not so good bits. 
 
So how do we know if we’re self aware of ourselves and emotionally aware of others? It’s when we stand up to bullies to protect someone else because we feel their pain; it’s when we recognise that being perfect is impossible because we’re human, gloriously human. It’s when we can lie in the grass and watch the clouds go by – without needing our mobile or some app to help us meditate. 
 
Working as a mind management coach I see anxiety and depression increasing, I see young kids, teenagers, executives in their 50’s battling each day because they haven’t had the opportunity to learn about themselves, to understand their strengths and weaknesses and to not fear when things go wrong.  
 
By being free thinkers, being true to ourselves and vulnerable, by being connected – this is what makes us human – we are not robots”
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I would like to thank our TEDxColomiers executive team - Amber Kibby (Lead Organiser and Curator); Jacci Gordon; Anne O'Mahoney; Sophie Tweed; Ayesha Bhaya; Andrew Kibby; Bhairvavi Mahadevia; Jonathan Gabriel Margerit; Sandrine Verdou and Valerie Pedurthe-Lauga. The speakers Abby Mahnah; Amanda Hodgkinson; Audrey Tweed; David Mimoun; Gilles Collaveri; Ihssane Zaadoud; John Temple; Katrine Horn; Marion Clignet; Nadège Compper; Nicolas Benites Zerega; Philipp Scholz and of course me... Plus Nic Debens , my coach Hannah Havas and everyone else involved - from the lighting people to the technical people, the volunteers, assistants and the sponsors...
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Leaders themselves can often be a central source of stress among employees

5/4/2016

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​I have a number of clients who come to me for one-2-one sessions on issues at work. Most have a fairly senior position within their company and many have difficulties with their boss or a colleague.
 
I believe most people want to be respected by their colleagues, whether it's their boss or one of their peers, and probably everyone wants to work in a harmonious workplace. So why are there so many people struggling with conflict at work?
 
It generally comes down to personalities, learnt behaviour, how we handle stress and what’s happening in our home life that determines our day to day demenour.
 
However did you know that about 90% of our behaviour is controlled by the subconscious, meaning that we are only truly in control of our actions one tenth of the time.  

I had one particular client who seemed to clash with many of her leaders. She does have high expectations of those around her however even higher ones of herself - most of all she wants to be treated with respect, with honesty - the way she treats others. 

I remember myself as a junior executive in a thriving PR agency in Durban (S. Africa) many years ago. I had a dreadful boss and she made my life a misery. Everyone commented on her behaviour behind her back, but no-one confronted her. She was married to our number one client - if she wasn't however, would anyone have done anything about it? In the end I resigned. The injustice I felt was incredible. 
So what makes a good leader? There are seven main attributes:

1. Show concern for others.
2. Seen as communicator plus net worker.
3. Trust others to lead.
4. Honest and consistent.
5. Accessible, approachable and flexible.
6. Decisive, determined, results driven and take risks.
7. Draw people together via Vision.

Everyone has stress in their lives, but not everyone deals with it in a constructive way. Business leaders especially must learn how to manage their stress effectively so that their companies, employees and their own personal lives don’t end up eroding as a consequence.

What can Bill Gates, Richard Branson and Steve Jobs teach us about managing stress?
Late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, for instance, took a Zen-like approach and advised those with busy minds to slow down in order to find calm and clarity. He uses meditation.

A client emailed me this morning about meditating and if I did? I do. She also asked if it was a 'waste of time if you felt restless or wanted to move and stretch?' I replied that it wasn't a waste of time and sometimes we're simply not in the mood, and that's okay. I explained that I often meditate or listen to one of my personal short audio's - just five minutes each morning. Five minutes of pure relaxation; of feeling good about myself; daydreaming... it's utterly invaluable.

If you would like to order a personalised audio email irena-marie@focus-wellbeing.com 
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Can't live without technology?

2/12/2015

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For most of us it’s a fact - we can’t!

Does it enhance our lives and again most of us would agree it does. BUT when it comes to our day to day health and energy, Technology has a lot to answer for. In truth we can't completely blame technology, as we are the users in charge.

In what seems like a very short period of time i.e. the last 15 years we have gone from relatively low technology use to a relentless non stop exposure.

Here are some of the key ways this is messing with our health and energy:
  • We are constantly glued to our phones, tablets, laptops and computers; this continuous exposure to technology is burning us out like an overused computer that is never switched off
  • Technology stimulates our nervous system and this continual stimulation is negatively affecting our energy. This wouldn't be as big a problem but for the volume of time we spend with technology and the lack of calming activities in our lives
  • The exposure to technology in the evening, especially the last hour before bed, makes it harder to fall off to sleep and crucially affects the quality of sleep
  • The addiction to always being online creates mental stress and anxiety. Many of us are continually sending out messages via text, email, facebook, twitter, pinterest, instagram and more. Proof of this is a staggering 90% of the world's data has been produced in the past two years
  • The continuous use of technology is negatively affecting our posture, especially for the millions now using laptops for work

Technology isn't going away, so what can we do?

As with everything in the world of health and energy it comes down to this simple question "what are your daily habits?"

The more of the good habits you have in your life, the better your health and energy. Equally the more of the bad habits you have, the worse your energy will be. It really is that simple.
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So here are 7 positive technology use habits for great health and energy:
  • Avoid all technology for your first hour or even two (yes two) after waking. Use this first hour or two to set your day up for health, energy and success. Four positive morning habits:
  1. TM meditation as soon as you wake. 
  2.  Twenty minutes or more of morning exercise 
  3. A high energy breakfast containing a slow release carbohydrate and protein food. 
  4. Plan your day, list your top 3 must do's for your day
  • Avoid all technology for your last hour before sleep. This will improve the quality of your sleep and consequently your energy for the following day
  • Always take your lunch break away from your laptop or computer and when you take that break avoid all technology i.e. your phone and tablet
  • Give yourself at least one technology free period (ideally 30-60 minutes) each day, for example when you do your daily exercise, or your journey to and from work
  • Unless you have to do it as part of your job, keep social media to a minimum. Real life is far more fun.
  • If you use a laptop for work make sure you have a riser and separate keyboard, set this up so you can sit upright with your eyes in line with the top of your laptop screen
  • Calm your nervous system down from all the technology stimulation, the 3 best for this are:
  1. Sitting in a quiet place listening to relaxing music 
  2. Meditation 
  3. Being close to nature i.e. by the sea, in a forest, in the countryside, in a park, at home in front of an open fire.

There's no running from it, technology is here to stay. BUT you can take charge of how you interact with technology, without being its slave.

"Focus Well-being leaders in creating a healthy, resilient and energised culture in the workplace…”
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Wellbeing at Work

12/9/2014

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British Telecom are one of the forefront companies in tackling Wellbeing in the Workplace. Dr Paul Litchfield, Chief Medical Officer, BT Group comments: "The work we do within BT group on employee wellbeing gives me professional and personal satisfaction. Not only are we doing the right thing by our people but we’re contributing to the success of the business.

"Wellbeing can sometimes be viewed as discretionary, something an organisation puts in place when times are good. We have shown that efforts in this area are perhaps even more important when business conditions are tough – people then particularly need a bit of help to succeed for themselves and the company."

BT has observed a range of benefits and positive outcomes for employees and the organisation, these include:
  • Strategic focus on wellbeing has had considerable impact on employees through the post-financial crisis restructuring
  • Reducing accidents rates by over 80%
  • Reducing absences rates by over 30%
  • Keeping employees and skills that would have otherwise been lost
  • Developing good practices in several countries and sharing the learning

Irena-Marie continues "I came to France just over seven years ago. I have noticed that there is quite a serious problem with stress in the workplace. Although employees have a short week by UK standards - 35 hours - this in itself creates stress in many organisations. 
 
France's white-collar employees are facing a growing litany of "brutal" psychological risks in the workplace, according to experts. The European Agency for Health and Safety at Work says the problem is not unique to France.

According to a study of 31 European countries published last year, stress at work is seen as a common phenomenon by more than half of employees. 

Job insecurity, too much work and harassment were cited as the most common causes for workplace depression.

"The physical suffering once linked to work has been transformed into a more intimate form of emotional suffering," said Denis Maillard from the Technologia advisory group, which specializes in analysing risk in the workplace.

"Drudgery is now much more psychological than in the industrial world because of the demand for employees to engage differently in their work," he added.

Technologia, which has carried out a hundred studies of French companies in the past five years, found that workers at France's Post Office and unemployment agency Pole Emploi are most vulnerable to psychological problems because of demand for increased productivity.

For Jean-Claude Delgenes, head of Technologia, problems of bullying and psychological burnout reflect "an organization that forgets people and puts more and more emphasis on pressure and profitability."

Under these conditions, employees "swamped with work, will become tormentors to achieve their goals," he said.

Earlier this year The Local reported how millions of French workers were said to be close to burnout due to the pressures of overtime.

“France’s appearance from the outside can be a bit simplified,” Technologia's head Jean-Claude Delgenes told The Local newspaper at the time. “There is a lot of overtime. Most workers don’t adhere strictly to the 35-hour work week.”

Instead, they are staying late, doing more and working remotely because the economic crisis has them in fear of losing their jobs, he says. France is battling a 16-year high unemployment rate that is hovering above 10.5 percent. At the same time email and smart phones allow people to work any time, any place.

“We have poor self-control when it comes to new technology,” Delgenes said. “Work spills over into people’s private lives. The difference between work and social life used to be clearly distinct."

Irena-Marie comments: "For the past two years I have been helping companies establish programmes on ‘wellbeing at work’.  Yet with all the statistics and case studies showing amazing results, it's incredible how many organisations still view it as 'nice to do' but not essential." 

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Depression is a huge problem, afflicting about 121 million people worldwide.

It has tragic consequences: it lowers mood, saps energy, and reduces the will to live. Sufferers often find they cannot work, reducing their ability to earn a living for themselves and their families. Unlike other serious illness, depression has no outward signs – no blisters, fever, or rash – so it is invisible to others. Sufferers feel ashamed, worthless, a failure – and because they cannot understand why they feel so bad, constantly torture themselves with questions about what’s gone wrong.

Depression is not limited to rich countries.  The World Health Organisation says that:
  • Depression is the leading cause of years lost to disability (YLD) in both high and low/middle income countries
  • Depression can be reliably diagnosed and treated.
  • Fewer than 25 % of those affected have access to effective treatments.


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Focus Wellbeing Retreat, France
To find out more please email Irena-Marie at irena-marie@focus-wellbeing.com

Article by Irena-Marie Makowska 
http://www.irena-mariemakowska.com/ and
http://www.focus-hypnotherapy.com/

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    Irena-Marie is a Mind Coach. Specialised in wellbeing, mental health, emotional intelligence, resilience and performance for individuals and companies worldwide. In addition she creates and facilitates workshops both online and onsite.
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    Irena-Marie has founded three businesses and began her career in PR and media relations after training as a BBC journalist.  She has worked in South African, the UK and France. 

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